Novemberr=)

Wow, I think this semester is going by super fast now kinda haha. Life's still busy as ever, and homework every night, studying every night, projects every other day! Its crazyy haha. So I went
to the UofC open house last weekend, and wow haha. I saw so much, and it was pretty darn amazing. I got so much information from like every single booth from the 2 1/2 hours we were in
there! I thought it kinda helped me but Im still pretty lost on it. Hopefully something will pop up and I'll be like wow I want to do that for the rest opf my life haha. I guess the main thing right now is focusing on my classes right now, and needing to bring my marks up. For the past month I've been trying to drop spanish because I dont like it anymore and I want to focus on my 3 main course subjects, not a language. My teacher and guidance counsellor won't let me drop it so Im there till end of February... haha mann.

Well besides school, life has been pretty chillin haha. 3 day weekend and Christmas is coming soon! haha. Oh christmas break =D, Im so excited. Oh and the christmas play at church, rehearsals galore too, Im defs excited for that. I feel so happy haha cause Im actually not doing homework or anything right now, so Im pretty relaxed right now=). wow... whats there to say. Im content with life.

Life with God has been good too. I'm still doing devotions and all the good stuff haha. Junior church, sunday school has been super amazing. I feel so proud I can help other people in Junior church. Yah I know its weird in a way because I still remember my Junior church days and I look back at all my old memory verses and crafts we did. I just want to have that passion to teach it and same with everyone else doing it too. I want to be dedicated in doing it and hopefully all the best. I love churchh haha.

Lifes been good, family's good. Im pretty much good to go ;).

Mid-October blogg=)

So schools been crazily busy as ever haha. mann it feels like I have no time for anything except homework and studying. This is my new life, I swear it is haha. Its only mid october but post secondary is all over in my head right now. I honestly dont know what I want to do after highschool.. and it suckss man. I've been praying for forever and I guess its all I can do. CRAZINESS haha... I think that sums it all up.

Life in general hasnt been that bad, I guess. Busy too... with my family and all. We'll see where God takes me in life you know. I've also been praying for my brother's post secondaey, because I dont know where it's taking him, hes applied in a couple places. Wow I remember when I was younger and I always wanted a sister because my brother and I were total oppposite. Now that my brother might be going away for post secondary, I feel soo bad. All those days of him and I going separate ways and I usually dont see my brother that often, maybe like once or twice a day. I think my family and I should all go shopping this weekend=), that would be amazing!

So back to school again haha... we dissected lamb hearts today in bio and I almost threw up haha.. ew it was so gross=(. oh and in bio we're going on a field trip! Rafting down the bow river and then looking at sewers eww haha. school is making me go crazy.

anyways off to do devotionss. this blog was rushed but at least I blogged..=) talk soon.

back to school.

Im back to school now... grade 11 haha. soo busy with my first semester. I already got homework on the very first day of school... wow how sad is this? haha. yah anyways though summer was amazing as I wrote on my last entry, and camp was even better=). wow it was soo good haha. Everything just happened and I really felt God there with me. This summer really showed me what true friends were though; I have no regrets and im so glad I got close with soo many other people. I learned so much and im so thank ful. I guess since summer is like over, Im more focusing on school now as I said my first semester is busy. So you know with bio and math and social, and spanish. I just have a good feeling about this year though... I dont know maybe cause im in tune with God once again and it just makes school that much better.

You feel different, and I feel different after coming back from camp... and Im taking that feeling and experince with me to school. I know im taking that step of faith this year. Hopefully everything works out for the better and school wont be that stressful ;).

Im waiting for summer 08 haha. I have good feelings about next summer.. or maybe its just me and my optimistic ways ;). anyways though, hopefully I will figure out all my post secondary plans and get everything in order so I know what Im doing for the rest of my life haha. Yah, well I need to go get my life in order now... and it should be good to go=).

summer 07 is almost at end.

I cant believe dvbs is over... I havent blogged for soo long and my last blog, that I wrote, it talked about us planning dvbs and its finally over. Im really gunna miss seeing those kids; and hanging out with Eva and Alex everyday haha. anyways though, eva leaves to vegas todayy=( and I need to go shopping and packk. wow this summer has been really amazing.. Dvbs is definitely an experience I will not forget, ever. This year the training year has been soo good. Geoffrey did alot for us, and in the end I never really got a chance to thank him for all hes done. anyways I have lots to do still so I have to make it a really short blogg... I'll try more to blog soon again. I will miss you summer 07.

Its been awhile...

Wow, I haven't blogged for awhile now. Life has been SO busy, like you dont even know. VBS is still in the planning stage; well the late planing stage, because we have 3 weeks before it is up and running, oh man Im excited. I thought CALM would be almost over... I thought this friday was the very last day, and I was wrong. I have another 3 weeks! omigosh.. I swear these are the longest 6 weeks of my life haha. Anyways yah life has been pretty alright, just busy that's all. My finals are coming up =/... I have my english part one final this thursday and my science final on monday=/. Im scared haha, at this moment I'am multitasking=); doing calm, stuyding, and VBS.

I dont know... I just have lots going on...I have so much to do that I haven't gone shopping for a whole MONTH! omigosh... haha wow, thats crazyy. I'm not stressed or anything right now; just going crazy=). I for sure know that the vbs orientation is this friday and I have lots to plan out and stuff, but I know that this whole weekend, I'll be studying for science... ahh. Dang, it's pretty sad to know that I forgot my science final was right on monday morning... and I made all these plans for this weekend arlready=(. Well if I think about it on the bright side, after this monday final, I just have one more exam to go and I'll be good to go for summer 07.

It's hard to believe that my first year of high school went by soo fast. I remember summer 06 and all those vbs memories... wow, I miss it all. Then it comes by again, just like stampede..=). Back to school again though... am I transfering to another high school next year or am I staying? Ahh im so lost about that. Im like on waiting lists and all but I guess I dont have the time to wait. I've been praying to God to keep myself together and be patient and to stay strong no matter what. There has been those days where I've really felt like giving up on everything, because I had school to do, vbs planning, calm online, then finals. Seriously I really didnt think I could do it. Until I flipped open my spritual journal and this verse fell out: "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…." Psalm 37:7.

I know I got this; anyways I need to get studying now before I cram this weekend=(... see you friday... VBS ORIENTATION AT 7:30PM... VOLUNTEERS MUST ATTEND=).

Oh mann

Ahh why is life being so hard on me right now?... Geez.

=/.

Uh... no comment.

=/ Oh man Im tired tonight. Maybe cause I was doing calm for 4 hours and studying for science and all. I dont know I feel pretty dead tonight, also kinda feeling down and I dont know why. Im feeling kinda sick too and I dont know why?... ahh man whats happening to me? Maybe its my fault for only sleeping 6 hours every night for the past 2 weeks. Is that it? Lack of sleep? whatever it is... it's getting to me and its hitting me hard. I feel like dying right now haha, thats my feeling.. k not dying but some where close to that. Yah haha... anyways as my whole "no shopping" thing comes to an end this coming weekend, I really dont have time to shop anyways, so I'll put it off for another 2 weeks I think.

I dont know but why is everything so busy now? Cause school's coming to and end?(4 more weeks left) and everyone's starting to work hard now cause of finals?. Or is it summer or soon to be and the teachers are driving us like crazy with the work. whatever it is... Im feeling drained.... to the extreme. I dont feel stress though.. stupid calm. I am very much disliking it; the assignments are so confusing. I should stop complaining though cause I'm the one who chose to do it online....=/ this is what I get.

Ok so VBS... things seem to be coming along slowly but surely.. As the anticipation builds up within me=). Wow if I cant handle this then how am I gunna survive VBS.. 8 hours with kids?=) definitely worth it though=). anyways yes I'am feeling so dead tonight, I'm peacing it=).

So out of it.

Oh man.. Its been a busy week, it went by really fast though but Im so tired. usually on weekdays I don't know whats been happening but I've been waking up at like 5:45am every morning, only getting around 6 hours of sleep. I get home and I like literally run to the phone and start booking the places for VBS haha. Since I get home like 10 minutes before 4, I need to call before the offices and stuff close at 4, yah its been busy and I've been doing it for awhole week know haha. I guess Im adjusting to it. Anyways as you know I haven't shopped for 2 weeks now (excluding vbs supplies, gifts for others, and mothers day gifts). I still go the mall and all, I just stay away from AE that's all haha. I dont walk by it cause I know if I do then I'll go in there and buy everything haha. I do find that I have more time doing other things now that I cut back on shopping. Wow that's crazy... I actually can survive this whole "no shopping" thing, Im proud=).

K new topic=) haha, I watched spiderman 3 twice=). I'm not a big spiderman fan so I thought it was ok.. I know I even went twice with the same people too haha. OH man Calm 20 haha... is it cause Im a asian so im a keener also? finishing a weeks worth of assignments to get ahead? Maybe, cause thats what I did.. I finished a whole week's worth of assignments to get ahead haha. wow Im really tired now... at least today I woke up at 7am! Getting 6 hours of sleep again.. I dont know whats really been on my mind. I dont feel stressed but in a way kind of, with 4 more weeks of school left then its VBS from there on.

New topic again haha, these koreans at school thought I was korean and they started talking to me in korean and then they said something to me and I didnt understand, so I nodded my head and smiled haha. Then they looked at me and one of the girls was like "he just asked you for a smoke" and im like "Oh.. im so sorry but I dont smoke." I walked away so fast and hopefully I never have to talk to them again haha. yah thats my school life=) exciting or what.. Im actually korean at school?...

Anyways thats an update on my life- Im offf=).

SOO much..

Wow... there's so much to do for VBS haha. Or maybe it just feels like it cause I've never done this before. I should start calling up places and booking it all=) for summer 07! I've been researching them on the internet, so I have all their contact numbers. I guess everything's going pretty good so far; we got alot done yesterday, and Im proud haha. I've been so tired lately though, and I dont know why haha... I've been going to sleep before 11:30 too! I need to get used to it I guess, well I know the next 2 months is going ot be soo busy and Im going to say stressful too. On top of VBS planning and all, Im starting CALM20(online) this monday and it goes till June. Im excited but scared. I feel like Im not going to be able to handle all that, but I know I can. Im just scared, well the nervous/excited type of scared.

Wow, but I think this school year has gone by so fast and it just reminded me that I was suppose to drop off my transfer school forms last week.. DANG I like missed the deadline like 2 months ago haha, but they're still accepting. I dont know now, Manning is "ok", I like the people and it has taught me to go out of your comfort zone and make friends. This year was pretty unforgettable, yah I really miss my central friends and it has taught me to keep going on without them;and here I am.. I've made a few really close friends at Manning; I got to meet soo many new people. This is hard... I dont know if I want to stay at Manning or not anymore? I remember last year I said that I'll be at Manning for one year to be with half of my friends and also I made new friends too=). Then I would transfer to Central to be with my other friends.

That lady never told me the central transfer deadline was in March, and now its May... They're still accepting but Central is pretty full almost. I dont know.. I have alot on my mind right now and transfering schools isnt that big of a deal, well kinda. I dont really like Manning but I like the people. I like Central AND the people there. I have to plan VBS AND take calm online. I have school to balance out with Sunday school/junior church planning. Yes welcome to my life=). Im in definite need of prayers before I go crazy..

I'll make it official.

Ok I've officially decided... no more shopping for 3 weeks... starting May 1st=) haha. I'm broke again, after me going crazy at the mall today. Oh man I'll miss American Eagle=(. I can do this.. If I can survive 6 weeks of VBS..3 weeks will be nothing right? haha I need to occupy myself with other interests like... facebook? I'll make Geo proud when I accomplish this=). I think no one will actually believe me doing this. Tanya Kwong- 3 weeks of no shopping at all. I can window shop; but its not as fun as "real" shopping. I can do this.. I got this.

Yes I do=). I believe in myself=D. Be Optimistic.. its only 3 weeks. I have bestfriends that support me right? haha.

Chillin' with spring=).

Yes Im so glad its offcially spring and the warm weather is here! Its all good=). I hope my voice gets better though, so at least I can teach sunday school on sunday, aw yeah. Anyways as I was planning and all last week, for sunday school I noticed the weirdest thing. All my church stuff goes missing haha.. seriously. First I lost my bible, then my junior church lessons, third my sunday school book, and fourth... the candygrams people gave me; not all, just half. I really dont know where it all went, seriously I've lost it all, well I dont know if it got stolen or I lost it but who would want my church stuff? haha really.. In a way it makes me mad kind of, cause really thats my stuff haha.

I dont know if it actually all disappears into wherever or am I actually losing it all by misplacing it?. Seriously though... where did it all go?.. It makes me mad... I need to plan my lessons and I like keeping my candygram messages to read over AND I miss my bible=(. sigh.. where or where did you all go?..

again?...

Definitely needing more prayers for VBS please=). The adrenaline is building haha. Anyways, I was talking to Karen on sunday morning about why Im doing VBS and how Im not taking summer school instead. Im thinking of taking bio20 and bio30 next year so I can write a diploma next year so I dont stress too much on gr.12. Karen said it was a good idea, and people said it was good and bad. I have an appointment with my counsellor tomorrow morning to change my courses for next year to bio 20 and 30. I dont know if its the right thing to do or not?....

oh man...=S.

summer '07

Wow, long time no blog. Life's been busy. So busy haha. Well in the past few weeks, lots has happened I guess. On my last blog I said I wasnt moving=), definitely been happy about that. Right after that I got to go back to doing everything again. So you know getting settled back in was time consuming for sure haha. Anyways as I go on with life now, um school. Im not taking summer school and chose to teach at VBS instead. In a way I keep thinking on "Was this what God really wanted me to do?" I dont know.. I did feel rushed to get into VBS but I kept getting extra time. Just like my moving thing.. it took over a month until I finally got the final answer. Same for VBS except I had like 2 weeks. Compare both and thats what I mean of "rushed".

I dont know though.. I'll have a full schedule next year though because I was suppose to be taking physics 20 this summer but I cant so I guess I have to drop legal studies and take all 3 sciences next year. Then I'll officially go insane=). 3 sciences to "keep my options open", hmm dietician nutritionist?... yup thats what I want to be and thats what I wanted to be since September haha. Who knows I might change again..? I've been asking people about taking all 3 sciences and they've all been saying "once you get into university.. not alot of the courses require physics.. the main one would becoming an engineer and if you dont want to become and engineer then dont take it." Yah well I dont want to become an engineer haha, and I dont like physics AT ALL haha. Its kinda pushing me onto the side of "I dont want to take physics=)."

Here I am again then.. wondering about my future, and of course summer '07... people always ask me "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" It makes me think all the time, cause I keep changing my mind on what I want to become and all so who knows? anyways Im excited for summer though and what it'll bring this year. ok enough of my ranting for tonight=) bye.

EXTREMELY HAPPY

IM NOT MOVINGG. =D.

I'll Stand.

Its been awhile, I've been so busy with everything. School's been good, but busy; like I love science and all but I swear it is the most boring-est class EVER haha. Anyways, an update on my moving situation. Well the title of this blog is what it means like I'll stand, not rebelling but stand. I've stopped packing for the past week, and you know have been doing pretty much nothing, except enjoying calgary=) and the spring weather. Im definitely not ready to be leaving this city of mine, but in a way I feel like Im taking it into my own hands and not God's; but then God has put so many situations into my family these past few months its like a feeling of telling me to stay. So many situations have stopped my family from flying off, so hopefully I'll be able to stay=D. This is off topic though but my family still doesn't know that I lost my bible, they think I packed it in a box...haha... smooth.

Anyways, friends have been good, the pieces have been starting to fall back in place as Eva said=). I don't know though, I still feel anger down inside, but why? I thought I let it all go, but it is easier said than done. It's been hard, but I'am coping. Wow I started this blog like an hour ago and the time now is 9:42pm. I've been so distracted and busy that I would stop blogging every so often. Then I re-open this again and keep blogging..=) haha whats on my mind right now? EVERYTHING going from school to church to friends to family to everything thats in my life right now. Oh especially last night. They were good times, with them friends and golf courses=).

ok so Im back again and its 10:02pm. Ok what a blog... haha anyways see you at church tomorrow=) mm I want Timmy's tomorrow morning=).....bye haha.

Wow.

School's been so busy lately, I dont know I've been doing lots, report cards next week... my english teacher thinks I should either be in english honors or advanced placement because I find english really easy haha, having a 90%+ average in that class.. anyways science has been coming along nicely I'll say. We just finished chem and were doing physics now! haha. ok my life now; busy, hectic, and my decision should be one of my first priorities I guess but I made it one of my least. I just think that school and everything is more important right now.. well no but I just dont have time for it. All the studying and projects, I just dont have the time. ok as you can tell by what Im writing im pretty rushed right now too... so I have to head off now to go catch up on some B-I-B-L-E haha. well I didnt read this over... so I have no clue what it sounds like. ok I have to go now bye=).

Yup.

2 weeks left.... I want to go to YC though, If I convince my parents on letting me go to YC that means I cant move then, since YC is in May. Unless they want to fly me back just to go for the weekend haha, but my parents are too asian for that. Oh, well my dad started to ship off some stuff to the states... like my adidas shoes=O! I was so angry haha I miss them...=( anyways 2 weeks of mind boggling, to come up with a conclusion. So yes I'll keep on praying and definitely will be seeking. Thats my short little update right there=) talk soon again.

Here I am.

Im here, not happy nor angry anymore or sad, but content. Life's been fine, for now you know, no more dramatic news. Tanya's life has been content. School's been fine, family has been fine, friends have been fine, my walk with God has been fine. I need a upgrade on all that. I need it to be more than fine.. Im asking it to be good again, to be happy again, so I can be happy again. I have no regrets on anything still, I've got nothin' on you. Im fine.



=)

---

Emotionally Im broken in 2, spiritually Im still hanging on in there.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:13

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 17:17

Matt Redman: You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let goIn every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go Lord,
You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You

I wanna cry my eyes out.

There's too much now..=( I seriously want to cry my eyes out.......... its over.. I really think its over. I never saw myself come to this point until now. You really did get me this time. You got me good. Its over k....

Lost a friend through it all...

Wow I can't believe you threw away all that you've been working for, up to now, 15 years in the making. I really thought you'd be here for me, but I was wrong. You were a good friend to me, a bestfriend at one point, then a close friend, and thats when we drifted, Im sorry you had to go through this, but it was the only thing I had to do. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you so I didn't. Im sorry, but always remember, I have no regrets on you or all that we had. You can pull as many stunts on me if you want, you can even say I deserve it... just remember though whatever and all that you do, you did it. I didn't pressure you into it. I'll miss our phone conversations, and all the summer memories, but I guess as we both did head our separate ways after summer 06 its the best for both of us. To me it feels as if we drifted too much that we dont even know who we are anymore.

I cant even sit beside you and talk to you about anything anymore, were both like strangers to each other now. I hate to admit it, but its the truth and you and I cant run or hide from it. Our friendship has been over for quite sometime now, but I guess I kept thinking that you'll always pull through as my better half. Maybe you were tired of me going out with all my "new friends" and leaving you. I do admit to that but there's no need to bring them into this. I know it'll be hard, for me it definitely will be, and sunday I guess was the last straw for you. You couldn't take it anymore... you might actually think me moving is the best thing for you, so we don't have to be in the same room as each other. Im sorry for all the faults and stupid mistakes I made but as we grow older we both change, people change, friends change.

You know who you are.

What's left of me...

Wow, I've been through awhole lot this week. I swear I've been to heaven and back... life has been insanely stressful to the point where I think that no matter what I do I really dont care. I hope Im not losing myself in there. To me I guess it's an internal conflict with myself right now, there's so many thoughts going through my mind right now and all I've been doing is either going against it or fighting it back, to hold it off. Like right now I feel like I want to accomplish everything I've ever wanted to do, and not look back to have any regrets. I dont know really what I want right now, life has been a definite rollercoaster ride, and it seems like Im never getting off of it.

Im getting so tired of everything happening around me...

What's left of me...

Wow, I've been through awhole lot this week. I swear I've been to heaven and back... life has been insanely stressful to the point where I think that no matter what I do I really dont care. I hope Im not losing myself in there. To me I guess it's an internal conflict with myself right now, there's so many thoughts going through my mind right now and all I've been doing is either going against it or fighting it back, to hold it off. Like right now I feel like I want to accomplish everything I've ever wanted to do, and not look back to have any regrets. I dont know really what I want right now, life has been a definite rollercoaster ride, and it seems like Im never getting off of it.

Im getting so tired of everything happening around me...

Is this my answer?

Ok so everyone knows I've been praying for the longest time now and everyone else has been too=) definitely thankful for you guys...thank you. So in conclusion haha, this leaves me wondering with what Im doing. Well Im not sure about this answer, but alot has been happening in my family..mm drama wise. Not that dramatic but drama as in drama haha. Ok well drama as in my very very very elderly 95 year old grandma got beat up by some lady in a nursing home=O. So my grandma's in a hospital right now, which leaves my family and I to stay for an extra few weeks till my grandma heals. Which also means bye bye plane tickets! Which also means Im right and my dad's wrong... haha in a way it does.

So Im here for another 2-3 weeks or so until my grandma heals. Then something else happened in my family too which is kinda dragging the whole moving situation down. That leaves me wondering on "Is this the answer God is telling me? Or is it just something thats a coincidence?" So good and bad in a way. Good because Im here for another few weeks praying my heart out on where I should be headed too, and bad because of my grandma and the family situation going on.

Now that I've said it all out...my family seems even more messed up and confused than before. Oh man what a life this is=/.

?

8 days to go.....

It happened again...

Here we go again. I saw it again. It came back again. The flashbacks, and the memories, that last moment I saw them all together. Next thing I see is the funeral...my friends...gone forever. I dont know, but once in awhile..I see them again....I didnt talk much about this so you know. This happened about 4 months ago, I started highschool on a rough start. I lost 3 friends within those first 2 months of school. Ever since then I keep seeing the flash backs...I keep seeing them and that scene replaying over and over again in my head. Its not going away, because I know I wont see my friends again. They weren't saved.

My life has been pretty drama filled. I dont know things haven't been going as planned...I still have 14 more days....just 14 more days before who knows where I'll be going? sigh. Im definitely not ready to leave this city of mine. I dont know it seems like my dad's "determined" to move... my dad's so stubborn. Ahhhh I dont know Im still praying...and still waiting for the answer, it feels like a ticking time bomb. Well hopefully these 5 days off I can catch up with thee besties, and some fam too. Bible study this friday...must find bible.....=/. Off to dinner, bye.

Not coo.

You know what's not cool, when someone thinks its a funny joke to leave "New York fries" on my doorstep with a note saying "I hope the fries in New York taste better!" thats not funny. I was...very upset about it I guess. sigh oh well...I'll find out who did it.....just like I'll find my bible too haha. ok off to facebook now....too many blogs.. bye.

=S

I dont know what to do or feel anymore? Should I stay or should I go? If I stay I'll have all my friends and half of my family, if I go..I'll have new friends and new people in my life. I love Calgary..kinda=). Well I love the people, I love thee bestfriends, I love the bbtea from chinatown every week=). I'll definetly miss it all. Im so confused, but sad I guess....?


Should I stay or should I go?....

=(

I DONT WANT TO MOVE...I LOVE YOU LURKERS AND BESTFRIENDS. I GREW UP WITH YOU CHURCH CREEPERS=(.

Saturday night

Im getting nervous...as sunday morning draws closer and closer...=/ oh man..junior church..am I really ready? I planned out my whole lesson and all that, but am I really ready? haha. Last night at YAC during the prayer groups, that was my prayer request, and people are praying for me. Im thankful for that, and also what Nathan said to me too last night. "Well Its good that your doing alot at church, its just training to help you as you grow older, because I started out doing JFK and here I'am now...almost retiring as a YAC leader haha, Im glad to see you grow up into where you are today." So yah I'am glad too, but I dont know. It will be a good experience and I'am looking forward to it..just nervous haha. School has been good=) I aced my first science test, Im pretty proud of myself..well you know I LOVE science so haha. As for my other classes I'll say their "good" haha. Ok well foods now..my teacher's kinda weird. She makes so many different expressions, that its hard to listen and pay attention, cause everyone's looking at all the different expressions she makes haha. I wonder if she notices or not?

Then there's my art teacher. He's even weirder than my foods teacher. He keeps this huge jar in the front of the class and he's like "Every morning when you come to class, make sure you drop off your change into this jar" and were like "what's it for?" and he's like "I've had this jar since 1975, and all this money will be sent to Africa to save a hectare of land." and were like "oh...so all that has been sitting there since 1977?" and he's like "YES, do you people have a beeping problem?!? why are you spoiled beeping so greedy?! why don't you give back to the other beeping side of the world?!" People say he's like that because he's so old. (Into his mid 70's) We always wonder why doesn't he retire?...his answer "I love to teach people like you." haha through all that "profanity" he uses with us..he actually likes us deep down=).

Ok well now Im just planning ahead. I was thinking of taking summer school this summer...my dad said it would be good. Either school or a job this summer? haha. Well my report card came with my final marks. Its good, not as good as I wanted it to be but Im satisfied. Well my math teacher from last semester was actually not a real "10 pure math teacher" =O. Well I kinda found out half way through the semester, and i started to teach myself haha. Now Im wondering..should I take 10 pure this summer again? I got my credits, I understand it, but my mark wasn't an 80...my final mark. She's a nice person and all that, but not that good of a teacher, teaching 10/20 applied, math 24...all that. She reccomends us to take 10 pure again..but should I waste my time this summer taking a course that I already got my credits and all that in? Or should I rather be taking 20 pure or physics, biology or chem?...I really want BIO!! haha. Yes I LOVE science but you already know=).

Ok enough of my schooling and back to msn=) haha. Oh and please pray for me about my junior church lesson tomorrow. Nervous but definetly worth it, Im ready to take the world by storm! haha. See you tomorrow at church..well you can find me in the basement haha. Bye.

Semester 2

So its not that exciting...I was really excited for it..and now im not haha. Well my day started off normal...new classes, new people, new teachers, new friends. AHH my classes are so boring...I miss my first semester classes now. Like yah I was looking forward to 2nd semester cause its more relaxed and less work...but I got used to having the 4+ hour of homework every night. Now its like art...yay drawing. Then science yay.....and english yay for shakespeare oh and foods. I dont know..I know all the people in all my classes cause its almost the same people but arg Im not used to it just yet. I think in a few weeks or like a month I'll blog about how much I love my classes haha. Yah so this is me when Im bored.... well not bored, im doing some english stuff. I had my first "science pop quiz" and oh man was it the sadest quiz ever! One of the questions was "why is 1977 money worth more than 1976 money?" answer: because $1977.00 is one dollar more than $1976.00" like what the? haha my science teacher is nice...but really weird. Nice because his tests are easy(not this one) but friends that had had him from the previous semester said he was. With his 20 multiple choice and 2 short answer unit tests. Not bad=). Ok well I have to go read my Shakespeare.....sigh I'll blog soon again..good night=).

what a day..

I had a pretty alright week. Skating last night was good as usual=). Came home, talked on the phone till 1am...went to sleep at 1:30am. Woke up at 7am, went to the mall with Hannah at 9:30am..shopped till 3:30pm. Im so dead right now. I still have to plan sunday school, plan junior church, and talk on the phone tonight before I go to sleep at 1am?..probably. Sigh what a day/week=).

Well I feel drained..physically and spiritually. My new years resolutions was to
1.) read the bible daily
2.) Save a friend/stranger, see them come to christ.

Yes, I only have 2, but its easier said than done. Well my first resolution..I've stuck too since Jan 1st, 07 but lately when I do read the bible before I head off to sleep, the words haven't been sinking in. I could sit there and read 3 chapters but nothing would stick into my mind. So then last night I tried really hard to focus on it, and let it go through me. Nothing was sticking though, thats when I went back to read my favourite verses..I have so many that I like but I always keep philippians 4:13 with me. I dont know though, like what is seriously on my mind?..I dont get it..what do I keep thinking about? Hope the lack of sleep isnt getting to me. I've been praying about it, over and over again..I guess this brings me back to a sunday school lesson of "God's timing". I could pray and pray and even pray my heart out, but my life is all through God's timing, not mine..so I could be waiting for the next few weeks to months even a year or so until I find out what's going on in my own life. Spiritually and emotionally.

I thought that I started this year with a good, strong, relationship with God, but I guess I had a few "problems" that put this relationship to the test..did I come out alright? Or did I come out with half of my faith gone?..Cause thats what it definetly feels like..I still believe and all that but what the? Oh wait...k I forgot to say that last week, these Jehovah Witness people came into my house=O! Yah they gave me a copy of their bible, titled as "The Mormon Bible". I dont know..is this a test God sent to me to see this if my relationship with him is that strong? Well its not like Im going to read it cause Im not. I also got awhole bunch of those brochures too. Also they called my house today and asked if I read their bible yet..and if I had any questions about their transcripts?...I hope I didnt offend them by saying "No..I havent read it and I wont..I dont know where it is..I could have lost it..but I heard that your religion is bad?" Yah now that I think back..it was something mean and rude to say but I really want to tell them to leave my family and I alone..they keep coming back to my house...once a week..I wonder if you can get restraining orders on these people?=). I think they need one...BADLY.

Now moving onto my 2nd resolution which I said I wanted to see someone come to Christ. I feel like I havent been trying hard enough on it. I pray every night to God to ask him to give me the courage and strength to do it, also the opportunities too. I get all the chances in the world, yet I still dont do anything. I can pray all I want but the relationship God and all of us have, is like a team right? Its all teamwork, and you dont shove all the work to one person but split the work evenly among both. So Im saying that Im praying and asking God to help me do this, and he's probably brought so many new people into my life this year already and yet I still haven't done anything. Im speaking, but I have no action coming out of me. Yah I can keep saying "I have 1 year to do this" but 1 year can go by really fast..like you wouldn't even know. I dont want to rush it either but if I know Im going to keep doing this..(is it procrastination?) then whats the chances Im actually going to pull through and do it? Seriously though..what am I doing to myself now?

Is this a test, to test my faith?...

what the?

You know some people need to seriously grow up, and let some stuff go. You make me so mad. ahhhh bestfriend you know what Im talking about. Lately people need to learn to not care. I really dont care anymore...

ok that was my angry some what let it out paragraph. Moving on now to my week. Mm this week was pretty alright, with no school....I really want to go to school now haha...I want semester 2 to start!! seriously I really want science...sigh I LOVE science=). skating tomorrow...haha sigh where are my skates?=(..oh yah k my mom washed my jacket=(..and she wont put it in the dryer to dry cause she said that it would "ruin the material" and I need a jacket for tomorrow. Im definetly not going to wear the thick heavy "chunky" snowboarding jacket. I'll find something somewhere in my house.....I dont know..its not a blogging day;my thoughts are everywhere. Too much in my life right now.

what a __________ day?

Im done all my exams...wow. 8 days of no school=), time to hit the mall again...just kidding. No more shopping for me SERIOUSLY..k well maybe after I get my AE polo T shirt and then I'll be done, oh and an AE sweater and Im done. K no I spend all my money on bbtea=) no most of my money...I want bbtea again. I swear I like live in chinatown or I should haha. Life's been good?..nothing exciting has been happening. well yah nothing. Mm maybe I actually should go out to get a job so I can actually be doing something and then I'll have something to write about=).

Except today when I was writing my math final..the gym was soo cold;serioulsy haha. I kept moving in my chair too, cause it was so uncomfortable. Then my teacher comes up to me and shes like "are you ok?.." and im like "yah...this test is really hard..seriously and its really cold in here=)" and then she actually helped my on my final=O I was shocked..I love my math teacher...Oh well, its so weird because at the beginning of the year my math teacher was the one I really really disliked. I dont know, there was something about her that I didnt like...and I was wishing for the 5 months of first semester to end and go by as fast as it could cause I couldnt stand her. Then it came down to today...the final. I dont know but she pulled through, she was nice to me and helped me=), I feel bad now. Like I kept thinking of how much I didnt like her and how she was a bad teacher. Then today..she helped me=O...it sucks now cause my first semester is over and, I started to like my teacher now...sigh.

Ok enough of my boring yet awkward day....goodbye=).

Happy Birthday to me=)

Yes, I've finally reached it... Im 15 now haha. Its no big deal, im 15 haha? seriously. Anyways though I wanted to say thank you to my friends and fam for all the birthday wishes and txt msgs sent..oh and those conversations on the phone too=). I can never ever forget all the AE gifts I got..seriously. I must admit I have too much AE in my house now..too much AE shirts in my house now, too much AE bags in my house now. Maybe I actually should STOP shopping at AE? haha. A week?...can I take it? will I be able to handle it?..hmm who knows?. My birthday today started off just like any other day, except this morning instead of my mom saying "good morning"..she said "happy birthday" haha yah anyways so today I woke up, went running=), came home, ate, studied, went out, fam dinner, studied, msn, prepared sunday school stuff(which took me forever to do), and now Im here. Sitting here wearing my AE clothes haha=) seriously though my whole outfit is AE.

Anyways, on my last blog it talked about what? drama? emotions? sadness? unhappiness? hmm its gotten better I must say, a little but it does take time so I'll leave it be. I've learned to move on with life..because I really dont care what other people think and I dont have the time to actually deal with it. I think I'd rather enojoy my life with friends and fam then sit around and dwell in the past=) Its my birthday today so HA. Ok im done now=). I love you lurkers..

=/

1 more exam to go=)...its a good thing right? but why am I not happy?...I dont know things have been pretty um dramatic? is that the word? haha. well its birthday galore this weekend...im almost 15!=O haha at exactly 9:08am Saturday January 20th. I dont know? mixed emotions..sigh. I dont know? why am I not happy? seriously...its been on my mind for the past days and yet im still where I started out to be, confused and nothing?...its my birthday soon, exams are almost done so no school for 1 week, got early b-day presents from the fam, pretty much am surrounded by the people that mean the most to me, I love life right now..but im not happy. I've prayed to God about it, and read my all time favourite verses in the bible too. I even spent quality time with bestfriends and family, which is priceless. I even went shopping....

I've been praying and praying....and im gonee....? what happened to Tanya...

What's on my mind...

Oh man, EXAMS GALORE this week...I'll be studying my butt off for sure..sigh. To me the last few months have been pretty busy for me. Alot has happened since september and its all been good and bad though. But that's in the past now and I've moved onto looking into 2nd semester, need to be optimistic..haha. Sunday tomorrow..need to plan my sunday school lesson, and plan junior church lesson also. That's so crazy to me though..I'll be teaching junior church starting in February...like I still remember being in junior church haha...I wonder how it is now?...Im excited though. Sometimes I feel like I take on so much, balancing church and school, especially this time with studying for exams too. I guess I keep falling back on Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." So that's whats been keeping me going for the past few months. Still though, life's been good to me. I've truly been blessed with how close i've become with EVERYONE at church now, and how i can turn to pretty much anyone if im stuck on some kind of issue in my life. Gosh..I love everyone at church like you wouldnt even know! haha.

Moving on now, to my day today. It was good, I went shopping AGAIN. It kinda brought up something to me though, cause just the other night my brother had this program thingy that would add up all the money you've spent within year 05/06 and he calculated all I've spent and it was past $3,500 =O. I was pretty shocked haha. seriously i didnt think about it that much too and then it all connected with last night's bible study which Leo was teaching. Offering..like all that money could've gone towards church you know? but I wasted it on materialistic things...I must admit Im too materialistic...and its not a good thing to become. So I wanted to get a job=), not working in retail or at a fast-food joint but helping others. Kumon math and reading centre. I came upon it the other day and they were hiring "highschool students that are eager to learn and be in a school type setting helping younger kids with homework and such." I though it'd be a good experience.

I know more work for me, but I know i'll be able to handle it..and if i enjoy doing it..it should be a blast right? DVBS all over again type of thing?=) well i only plan to work on saturday though, so it gives me a weekend to catch up on homework and church. No more mall for me=). But i'll be praying about it..sigh so many things to do, but I like it though...fast pace life and always being busy i guess well not exactly busy but having something to do, like I read the bible too but reading it 24/7 isnt fun at all haha, now not saying I dont have a life haha k nevermind Im going to stop now and go eat haha. K so I hope we all study for exams and have a good week AND see you all at church tomorrow=).

I love American Eagle.

I can't believe break is almost over and we head back to school on monday again. Definetly not looking forward to it. I hope I get used to waking up early again..this past week I've been getting up at 9am or later because im on the phone the whole night with besties. Oh yah and txt msging too...=). All those insiders on the phone, staying up till 6am talking on the phone, eating on the phone, and the late night laughs...I don't know what I'd do without besties..seriously haha. Ok now onto yac last night. It was good=)..I was happy that Alex came back to yac after the longest time=D. YAC PANDEMIC--new theme for 07. Yah, so I stayed up till 2:45am talking on the phone again with bestie and txt msging too..again. My inbox already has 85 msgs, and its only the beginning of January.

Oh yah my birthday's coming up soon---the 20th=). Eva's is on 19 and Jiffany the 21st. Get it? 19,20,21? cool much? My day today was pretty good..I went to the mall again, went shopping again, went into American Eagle again, and then i got a pair of American Eagle jeans=) and got a pair for Eva too..so we have matching jeans now haha. Oh yah i also wanted another pair of new shoes...I got a pair of adidas shoes a few weeks ago, then I got a pair of DC shoes last week..and my dad made me return them because he said that it wasn't real LEATHER? well he said "why waste $80 on a pair of vinyl shoes that will rip when you can spend $80 dollars on a pair of shoes made out of leather that will last longer..just get another pair of shoes." So that brought me to go shoe shopping again today and my mom told me to get pumas=O..I hate pumas. Well she said that my adidas ones are for casual wear, and pumas are for...I dont know athletic wear? Well if i get a pair of skate shoes what are they for then? Definetly not skateboarding haha, oh well I guess my mom's point was just to have shoes so I could switch to different pairs once in awhile. Whatever..I GOT AE JEANS=) haha. Well this was just a pretty random blog of what I was thinking of, anyways thats all. See you at Sunday School tomorrow at 9:15=).

My day today

embarassing...haha


note to self: don't go to the mall with your dad when he wears his matching lacoste outfit with his lacoste shoes.=)